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Emilsa Useda ♦
This past October 4th made nine years that I’ve been truly blessed by the Almighty with the privilege of being a mother. Nothing can describe the feeling of contentment, pleasure, and fulfillment that I attain when I see my son’s smile. That keeps me going all day. Although I am not a single mother, it is challenging to educate and bring up a child in the world in which we are living. However, having Eduardo in my life has shaped me in a positive way. It has motivated me to want to be a better human being. I find myself with the hunger of conquering every obstacle to make his life a happy one. In all the ways possible, I want him to grow into a person who is not only loved by his family, but also by others who get to know him.
Since his father has long gone for work by the time he wakes up, it is just my son and I in the house. I get up early every morning while he is still in bed. I start preparing breakfast for both of us. I also make lunch for each of us to carry to school. When I’ve finished with the breakfast I call upon him to get up, for it is time to get ready to go to school. Before crawling out of bed he watches me with sleepy eyes and asks me how I slept. Every time I answer that I slept well, he says, “Que bueno, Mami.” As soon as he gets up from his bed, my son makes up his bed neatly and well-ordered.
He heads to the bathroom where he brushes his teeth. By this time, I’m already halfway finished with cooking. He sniffs the air, wiggling his nose, and asks me what smells so good. I let him have a peep at the food before he goes to bathe. He takes very long in the shower, so by the time he’s out, I’ve already set the table for two and served his food. Sometimes he is not hungry for solid food like the one I cook, so he asks me to prepare some cereal for him. That makes him very happy. Having changed into his uniform, he appears by the kitchen door with messy hair, no shoes, uniform pants and shirt only. He would eat cautiously so as not to mess his clothes. He gets happy and kisses me, telling me that I am the best cook ever. When he has finished eating, he goes back into the room once again to finish getting ready. He starts combing his short black hair. He usually combs it to one side and then comes out to ask me to fix it for him. It doesn’t matter how long he spends combing it, he still thinks it is not combed properly enough. He picks his favorite shoes to wear to go to school.
Two days in the week I go to school before him, so before I leave I make sure that he’s eaten, and that he is ready. When we say goodbye every day, he comes for me to kiss his cheek and he kisses mine. He tells me to take care, but before saying goodbye, I remind him to be respectful to others, not to talk to strangers, pay attention in class, finish his notes and classwork and not to come out of the school compound unless it is in my sister’s vehicle, when the dismissing bell rings. He answers telling me that he will keep all that in mind. I believe he does because there haven’t been any complaints about his behavior.
We depart, but all day I am thinking about him. Everything that I do is because I want a better life for him. I am pursuing an associate degree in primary education at the University of Belize because I have somehow been inclined to this profession since I was in primary school. I do this because I want to uplift myself and be able to ensure a better future for him. I wish he’d go as far as he would like in his studies, give him the opportunity to better off the lives of those he is surrounded by, no matter where he goes.
When I reach home after 5:30 pm, I can see him from far waiting for me at the street side. As soon as he spots me he starts waving. We are happy that we are together again. I get down from my bicycle and give him a big bear hug. I ask him about his day, “How has it been?” “Did you make any new friends?” “Did you finish your class work?” “Do you have any homework?” He answers the questions thoughtfully because he knows that when he has no homework, he cannot play with the iPad. So he wishes he had homework everyday so that he can have his iPad. This motivates him to do his homework every day. Many evenings we would just sit down and talk. He tells me stories about his school day. He usually speaks wonders of his teacher. He runs jokes about himself; for example, he would tell me when the teacher asked him a question and he answered incorrectly. He laughs at himself. Or when he sees the cat chasing its own tail, my son lets out some hearty laughs. This laugh melts my heart. Sometimes he even wears small bits of chewing gum on his teeth and pretends they are braces. These are precious moments that we share: moments that linger in my mind and never fade.
For homework time, he sits beside me at the table and asks for help. I am more than willing to help. He takes out his notebooks and I review each one of them. He is a very distracted student, so there are always mistakes in his notes because he doesn’t copy the sentences correctly from the chalkboard. Luckily, I review his tasks every day and he has a chance to fix them in order to be able to study. This always happens, even though he tries his best to do it correctly. But I try to be patient and teach him how to spell the words and I also encourage him to read at least one hour per day. After his homework is done, he goes outside to play with his friend in the yard. He has a friend who is three years younger than him. His friend Andrew is a very nice little boy. They would play football, tag and hide and seek. When he has played for a while I send him to buy tortillas. We usually eat corn tortillas for tea. After he eats, he waits for a moment and then goes to bathe. When he has taken a shower, he uses his iPad for a brief moment. When he feels sleepy he comes to me to kiss me goodnight. Then he heads to bed where, in moments, he falls fast asleep.
Practically, this is how my life is with my son by my side. This is the best life. I couldn’t have asked for a better one. It’s pleasant for me to know that even though I might not be there for him all his life, I’ll be there all of mine. And that, for me, is beauty encapsulated.
Photos by Emilsa Useda
Emilsa Useda is a student at the University of Belize, majoring in primary education. She lives in Belmopan and enjoys spending time with her family.